Certainties and Uncertainties

Sitting in a booth at the Big Stop after a long day at work, my husband Ben and I sit facing each other waiting for an order of soup and chicken nachos. He can hardly wait to tell me his exciting news. I wait, bracing myself for what he will say. You see, Ben is a dreamer and a thrill seeker. I, on the other hand, am not. Yes, I can dream, but my dreams are more, shall we say, realistic? As for “thrills,” the type of thrills I derive are from a trip to the mall, a walk to get ice cream, or a day at the beach. The “thrill” type experiences that Ben enjoys involve heights, heights, and heights. I have tried rock wall climbing and have overcome my fear of heights because of Ben. I have yet to repel down a cliff, but he and his friend Tim are bound and determined to get me there.

Ben proceeded to tell me that he is going to become a certified scuba diver thanks to a man who goes to the Baptist church offering him a deal he can't refuse. So my husband is not only going to repel off of cliffs, he’s going to swim under water with the fish. Now his thrills involve heights and depths. I, on the other hand, will continue to be the observer, although I must admit that I think I’ll find the scuba gear more amusing than then the climbing gear.

After his exciting news I preceded to tell him about my uncertainties with a job for the fall. I’ve been fortunate to have a year contract, but with teachers who have better contracts returning from maternity leave and such, it’s hard to know whether or not I’ll have full time work. I love being a teacher. I take great pride in investing myself in children. I’ve become very attached to my group of 24 this year. Like he usually does, Ben just looked at me and loved me saying, “You need to put everything in God’s hands. Look at how He’s provided for us this year.” And God has. Ben’s loan was paid off at the end of 2006. Mine will be paid off in June of this year along with the car. After one year of teaching we will be debt free. That’s something only the Lord could do because He enabled me to receive a job in September after I just received my BEd. So why should I worry about tomorrow? Why should I be so anxious after all He has done for me? He knows what the future holds. He knows whether or not I should have full time work teaching in the Fall, and if not, then He knows that there are students who I need to be in contact with while substitute teaching.

And so, while I learn to wait on the Lord, I’ll enjoy the amusement He sends my way through my 24 (or should I say 25…Ben??) kids.